wouldn't? But he insisted that this was what he wanted both of them to do as a couple. Who would you say was right and who would you say was wrong?

Most people I think would lean towards the wife's side. A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush. But people of an entrepreneuring spirit don't usually see things that way. They are risk takers. That's why they can make huge losses and huge gains. Well, their conflict became so bitter, that he gave her an ultimatum. He told her that he had enough challenges to face trying to make the business work without having to fight another battle in the home front. "Support me in this thing, or let's call our marriage quits", was what he said.

She didn't want to lose her husband, so she did what he asked her to do against her greater judgement and quit her job to help him in the business. Today their business is thriving and they are financially independent. If she had held on to her own opinion, then their marriage may have ended and she would not be enjoying their mutual financial success.

What things are important and what things are not? When it comes to a relationship, somethings that look absolutely insignificant to one person, may be remarkably important to the other. For example, I know someone who insists that his mashed potato, meat, gravy, and vegetables must always be in a particular position on his plate. This seems completely ridiculous to me, but he feels very strongly about it and woe betide his wife if she doesn't put his food in the "proper" positions on his plate.

I know of another couple where the wife insists that they shouldn't receive calls after 10pm. The husband is of a different opinion because he's a gregarious person and has a lot of friends. This alone has caused a lot of conflict in their home. He doesn't see why they can't receive calls from their friends after a certain time and she thinks that he doesn't listen to her.

Resolving conflicts that arise out of a difference in opinions must always start with clear dialogue and communication. Speak AND listen. Find out why the person thinks the way they think about that matter. Say why you think that way about it as well. Don't blame, don't criticise, don't complain. All those things will contaminate your communication and will stop you from reaching an agreement on the matter that will be for your mutual benefits.

Find a common ground in that area. In the case of the couple who disagreed strongly about quitting their jobs and starting a business, the common ground the wife saw was that she didn't want to end their relationship. She focussed on that and adjusted to his ideas and decisions.

This way, you may not changed your mind about the subject, but you can find something about it that you can both agree upon. When this happens you'll be more able to come to a conclusion that will diffuse the conflict, or eliminate it altogether.

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Valentina Ibeachum has been counselling pre-wed and married couples for years in her local community. Her counselling has helped prevent and resolve relationship problems by providing effective guidelines for building strong marriages and relationships.For free relationship advice, visit www.relationshipwrks.com.

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