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Conflict at Work May Be the Snake Under the Rug (Part 1 of 2)By Tammy Lenski Once upon a time there was a rug merchant who saw that a beautiful carpet he acquired had a large bump in its center. He gently stepped on the bump to flatten it out. He succeeded, but the bump reappeared in a new spot beneath the carpet. He jumped on the bump and it disappeared...for a moment, until it appeared in yet another new spot. Again and again he jumped, scuffing and mangling the rug in his frustration. Finally, he lifted one corner of the carpet and an angry snake slithered out.
I love this story, which I found in a book by systems guru Peter Senge, because it leaves a vivid image of the problem created by failure to raise and address conflict at work---it just becomes the snake under the rug.
A few years ago the Harvard Business Review published a piece of research about the price of silence during organizational or interpersonal problems at work. In "Is Silence Killing Your Company," authors Leslie Perlow and Stephanie Williams explore the reasons for and the results of employees’ decision to keep silent instead of questioning or confronting a problem.
They suggested there are several reasons people hold their tongues: It’s better, as the old adage goes, to be quiet and thought a fool than to talk and be known as one. People sometimes keep quiet to avoid embarrassment or follow ingrained rules of etiquette. And organizations send a message---intentionally or unintentionally, formally or informally---that it’s best to fall in line and doing so will preserve job security. And even as adults, workers experience the need to conform, to feel part of the group, and the fear that raising difficult issues will marginalize or disenfranchise. Finally, people sometimes hold their tongues in the short-sighted belief that it’ll help get a task done more efficiently.
But, the authors
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Porter Bancorp votes to issue more stockAt its annual meeting of stockholders this week, shareholders of Porter Bancorp Inc., the holding company for PBI Bank, voted to increase the company's authorized shares of voting common stock from 19 million to 86 million and non-voting common stock from 1.3 million to 34 million.
The stockholders also defeated a motion from Denver, Colo.-based shareholder activist Gerald Armstrong to adopt a policy that the company's chairman of the board not be an employee or former employee of the company, with...<div class="feedflare">
<a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=rT4wuaAJJ38:WRQyOa3aI6M:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=rT4wuaAJJ38:WRQyOa3aI6M:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=rT4wuaAJJ38:WRQyOa3aI6M:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=rT4wuaAJJ38:WRQyOa3aI6M:F7zBnMyn0Lo"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=rT4wuaAJJ38:WRQyOa3aI6M:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=rT4wuaAJJ38:WRQyOa3aI6M:qj6IDK7rITs"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"></img></a>
</div>Thirsty Pedaler 'pub crawler' rolls into downtown Louisville<img src='http://assets.bizjournals.com/louisville/news/Thirsty%20Pedaler_20120518_0684*100.jpg?v=1'>The Thirsty Pedaler LLC owners Jennifer Benningfield and her husband, Scott Benningfield, used Louisville?s Bike to Work Day Friday to promote their startup business.
The business, a licensee of Minneapolis-based The PedalPub, basically is a bar-turned-bicycle that offers pub-crawl-style transportation on a 15-passenger bicycle.
Initially, Jennifer Benningfield said, the bicycle will operate on a loop of Main and Market streets in downtown Louisville. She added that she would like to expand to...<div class="feedflare">
<a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=89ScILeQUA4:C3wEPhepSkc:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=89ScILeQUA4:C3wEPhepSkc:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=89ScILeQUA4:C3wEPhepSkc:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=89ScILeQUA4:C3wEPhepSkc:F7zBnMyn0Lo"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=89ScILeQUA4:C3wEPhepSkc:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=89ScILeQUA4:C3wEPhepSkc:qj6IDK7rITs"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"></img></a>
</div>Kentucky loses 2,400 construction jobs<img src='http://assets.bizjournals.com/boston/real_estate/0514CommercialConstruction*100.jpg?v=1'>Construction employment in Kentucky fell by 2,400 jobs from March to April, a 3.5 percent drop, according to a new analysis of U.S. Department of Labor data by the Washington-based construction trade organization, the Associated General Contractors of America.
The state also lost jobs relative to April a year ago. Kentucky had 66,800 construction jobs in April 2012, which was 1,400 less than the state had in April 2011, according to the association.
Indiana, on the other hand, gained 1,100 jobs...<div class="feedflare">
<a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=WYp_zaHIsus:SDTKJ8jP3cI:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=WYp_zaHIsus:SDTKJ8jP3cI:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=WYp_zaHIsus:SDTKJ8jP3cI:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=WYp_zaHIsus:SDTKJ8jP3cI:F7zBnMyn0Lo"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=WYp_zaHIsus:SDTKJ8jP3cI:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=WYp_zaHIsus:SDTKJ8jP3cI:qj6IDK7rITs"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"></img></a>
</div>Mayor Fischer?s brother swims with the sharks<img src='http://assets.bizjournals.com/louisville/print-edition/Profile%20Greg%20Fischer%2020120414_3373*100.jpg?v=1'>Now that he?s been in office for more than a year, you might think you know everything there is to know about Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer.
I thought I had his background down pretty well until I went to interview him for the profile story that appears in today?s print edition of Business First.
I found out all kinds of things I didn?t know.
For example, did you know Fischer?s brother is one of television?s ?Shark Men??
It?s true.
Chris Fischer, who now lives in Park City, Utah,...<div class="feedflare">
<a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=hC8ZU7CzF6I:V6RE8yCbWNI:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=hC8ZU7CzF6I:V6RE8yCbWNI:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=hC8ZU7CzF6I:V6RE8yCbWNI:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=hC8ZU7CzF6I:V6RE8yCbWNI:F7zBnMyn0Lo"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=hC8ZU7CzF6I:V6RE8yCbWNI:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=hC8ZU7CzF6I:V6RE8yCbWNI:qj6IDK7rITs"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"></img></a>
</div>Dollar General adds two Market stores in Louisville<img src='http://assets.bizjournals.com/louisville/news/Dollar%20General%20Market%20produce*100.jpg?v=1'>Dollar General Corp. has renovated two Louisville stores that will reopen this weekend as Dollar General Market stores, complete with merchandise and grocery items.
The stores, at 11400 Preston Highway and 3430 Taylor Blvd., will hold grand opening events on Saturday, May 19.
According to a news release, each store will offer promotions Saturday, including gift bags with coupons and samples for the first 500 customers and $10 gift cards for the first 100 customers at each store.
The newly remodeled...<div class="feedflare">
<a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=EwuFnpnnfb8:MoiRt7CYOJc:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=EwuFnpnnfb8:MoiRt7CYOJc:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=EwuFnpnnfb8:MoiRt7CYOJc:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=EwuFnpnnfb8:MoiRt7CYOJc:F7zBnMyn0Lo"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=EwuFnpnnfb8:MoiRt7CYOJc:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=EwuFnpnnfb8:MoiRt7CYOJc:qj6IDK7rITs"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"></img></a>
</div>Top 4: Independent insurance agencies ? multiple lines<img src='http://assets.bizjournals.com/louisville/Top%20of%20the%20list*100.jpg?v=1'>For one of its May 18 lists, Business First ranked area independent insurance agencies offering multiple lines. The list was ranked by premium volume written out of local offices in 2011.
The complete list of independent insurance agencies ? multiple lines is on Page 20 of the May 18 issue and includes additional information such as total number of locations, headquarters location and local employee numbers.
The companies on this list had combined premium volume written out of local offices that...<div class="feedflare">
<a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=oCOoUGxOcRA:EWAfHlqwzoQ:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=oCOoUGxOcRA:EWAfHlqwzoQ:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=oCOoUGxOcRA:EWAfHlqwzoQ:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=oCOoUGxOcRA:EWAfHlqwzoQ:F7zBnMyn0Lo"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?i=oCOoUGxOcRA:EWAfHlqwzoQ:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.bizjournals.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?a=oCOoUGxOcRA:EWAfHlqwzoQ:qj6IDK7rITs"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/bizj_louisville?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"></img></a>
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conclude from their research, it turns out that patterns of silence in an organization, whether due to the workplace culture or an employee’s own background, are "extremely costly to both the firm and the individual." They found this to be true for organizations ranging in size from small businesses to Fortune 500 corporations and government agencies. "Silence,"by preserve the relationship or contribute to getting work done effectively or efficiently. Failing to raise concerns, confront conflict or talk about differences in organizations can, and often does, lead to these problems:
There’s an increase in "behind closed doors" anger, lament or plotting, as concerns are shared with trusted colleagues. Most employees don’t initially take a concern behind closed doors with ill intent. But they do want to be heard, to be told their concerns are reasonable, and they'll turn to co-workers they consider allies to get such reassurances. While a natural step in some ways, it’s also a trap for the individual and the organization.
There’s an increase in anxiety, anger and resentment, since silence doesn’t erase a difference but instead sends it underground, like the snake under the rug. It just moves around, sometimes growing larger and larger. If a person really care about something, it’s pretty hard to shrug it off and pretend it’s not bothering them.
Insecurity grows. The authors argue that when employees feel defensive and self-protective, they become increasingly more fearful of speaking up. This cycle leads to more silence and thus more insecurity, in what they call a "spiral of silence."
Relationships are damaged, sometimes badly so. Real concerns about a colleague’s behavior or decisions don’t simply go away when stifled. The psychological distance create by silence can and often does do more damage to the relationship in the long run than having the initial difficult conversation could ever have.
Creativity and effective decision making decline. I often say that the best organizations aren’t ones without conflict, they’re the ones that know how to work effectively with conflict. Difference, well managed, leads to greater creativity and better decisions. When important conflict is ignored, the work environment suffers in terms of morale, physical health, employee retention, and quality decision-making.
So how do you let the snake out from under the rug? How do you keep employees and organizations functioning well once the snake’s loose? In part 2, I’ll discuss how to break the spiral of silence, when it’s best to speak up, and how to do it effectively.
Copyright © 2005 by Tammy Lenski. All rights reserved.
Visit http://www.lenski.com for more tips and resources on talking things out in the work and home relationships that matter most.
Get your free copy of Talking It Out in Ten, a worksheet and guide to help you think and prepare for your difficult conversation, by visiting http://www.lenski.com and clicking on Free Guide. You'll also receive Tammy's monthly newsletter and be entered automatically into a bi-monthly drawing for coaching and consulting time with Tammy.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tammy_Lenski,_Ed.D
Dr. Tammy Lenski is the author of I Can't Say That!, a popular blog read by women all over the world. A professional mediator, conflict management coach and educator, Tammy works personally with women who want to keep their balance in conflict and step up to the conversations that really matter.
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